"Memo Editiing"

To: T. Leoni, Manager, Personal Department
From: Donald Pryzblo, Manager, Data Processing Department
Subject: Incorrect payroll checks

Mr. Leoni, recently I have been reviewing the “errors” made in the computer files. Faulty time sheets are a very big problem we are having. Contrary to what you insinuated in our meeting, the majority of these errors were made by clerks in the personal department. I feel the employees in the data processing department should be blamed for the mistakes of others. My fellow employees are correctly copying the invalid time tickets that the personal clerks are preparing. The errors are being made by the staff in your department.
You and I previously discussed requiring computer operators in the data processing department to compare entries against the time sheets. . I feel this task will be very time consuming and pointless for my staff. The clerks in the personal department are miscopying the entries. My employees does not have spare time to correct the errors made by others. Also, I cannot hire additional help to fix this problem. I do feel we can work something out where both staffs take part in the revision. This will save both of us time and money. I encourage you to inform your employees to review their work carefully before giving it to the computer operators. I will also pay close attention to the work of my employees. I hope we can resolve this issues and get the work corrected.
Please contact me if you have any questions or concerns. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Mr. Donald Pryzblo

In this email the first thing I corrected was, stating who the email was to in the message. The first sentence was a fragment. Mr. Pryzvblo used the terms “my people, and your people” to frequently. Employees should be directly stated as staff or employees. He acted as if he owned the people. Also, I changed the tone of the message. I feel he didn’t have much respect for Mr. Leoni the way he was speaking to him. I hope that Mr. Leoni realizes that Mr. Pryzblo cannot have his staff correcting errors that his staff created. Also, that he will realize to practice what he preaches. If they had a meeting about the problem in the past Mr. Leoni should have had more supervision over what his employees have been doing. A part of being a manager is reviewing and monitoring the work of your staff, which obviously wasn’t done in this situation. I hope he realizes he cant put the mistakes of his staff on others. If anyone should be hiring additional help it should be him. Furthermore, Mr. Pryzblo should realize not to sent emails like this. It was strictly stating things that he will not do instead of trying to compromise and work together. I feel Mr. Pryzblo should have took a more professional formal approach when writing this email. I think he took it to personal and wasn’t looking out for the best interest of the company.